Dear Five Year Old Daughter

Dear Five Year Old Daughter,

Being your mom is my most favorite thing. Ever.
But there are times I want to absolutely run away and cry.
I want to write these times down so some day you might look back on this crazy life we’ve been living together and laugh, cry, or maybe even appreciate the memories we’ve created together.

I love this age that you’re in. You think you know EVERYTHING.
Sometimes I truly wonder if you do know everything, but I will never admit that to you.
There are days you out-logic your dad and I and I know you are his in some way his. (Your dad is the logical side of our relationship/family) How can a five year old out-logic me?! You my dear make it possible. You ask questions that make me even scratch my head. Like listening to music and asking “mom, why did she crash her car into a bridge? and WHY did she love it?! and WHYYYY doesn’t she care?!?!”

You are at an age where I want to scream on a daily basis. Terrible twos? HA! Two’s were a BREEZE!  Traumatizing threes? Those don’t stand a chance. Five. Five years old. There needs to be a manual for how to deal with five year olds. You’re kind of a monster. You have found your voice. You have found your sassiness. You have found your limits and you know the consequences when you push them.
You don’t let me go to the bathroom alone, EVER. Just the other day you came in and talked about the toilet bowl cleaner THE WHOLE TIME. Why are you so interested in the toilet bowl cleaner?!
You scare people because you think its funny and you wrestle with your dogs. I never thought my dainty little girl would ever want to wrestle with anything. You’ve grown up so much in the last year.
I think if I counted, you would ask 4,592 questions a day. Do you know what that does to a mom?!?!

But oh my darling, I love this age. You are so fun. You are so funny. Witty, and gorgeous, and kind and caring, and full of life. You are everything I hope to be some day when I grow up. Can you teach me how?
I’ve learned more from you in the last year of your life than ever before.
Something about the way you come into my room and say “mommy, you smell like fresh flowers” or the way you hug me and say “you will always be my best friend”.
I hope that is true, baby girl. I hope we are ALWAYS best friends.

Out of everyone I know in my entire life, I truly think you are the most kind-hearted person I know. You care so much about others, how they are feeling, and how things will make them feel in the long run. Even on the days I want to rip my hair out because of you, you look at me with this look. It’s almost like you know i’m losing my cool. You always tend to say “I love you mommy” right at the perfect time. You are at the age where you are attached to my hip. You want to do everything i’m doing. If i’m wearing a dress that day, you want to be wearing a dress. If you have picked out a dress, you want me to put one on. Are you sensing a theme? You LOVE dresses, little one. I love how girly you are. I always wanted a girly girl.

Five years old has been such a challenge yet exiting age for me. Everyday I wake up wondering what funny thing will come out of your mouth or what melt down you might have because of something silly. Thank you for giving me this life. Thank you for making each day worth it. Being your mom has been the greatest blessing i’ve ever received and I can’t wait to watch you grow up into the wonderful girl you are becoming. You’ll always be my best friend.

I’ll love you forever, i’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be. (I really love when you make me sing that to you before bed or when you’re scared. I cry every time, but for some reason you love it.)